For so long, I identified with the caterpillar in the chrysalis phase..
sleeping in the cocoon waiting to become a big beautiful butterfly.
But now I’ve come to realize that Rome wasn’t built in one day
and neither were the bright orange wings of a beautiful monarch butterfly.
Its been shown to me now -
I walked out of my previous shell
and went on a search for the next one..
for those of you who don’t know, I quit my job and dropped it all...
But what I came to find is that what I was looking for had not yet been crafted.
I do not desire an ikea style home.
I wanted to make my own curtains from scratch,
build my own nightstand and hang my own art.
I wanted grit and style and intention to encompass the walls of my next shell.
It needed to be me.
I’m not a one size fits all kinda girl.
That simply won’t suffice.
So it’s taking time.
I’m building each day the foundation for my next home.
It’s rocked me down, striped me bare and here I am building -
nail by nail, one breaststroke at a time..
enjoying the calm solitude of the waters for soon enough,
I will be set free to dance out in the world but I need to learn the techniques..
A baby bird can’t simply soar.
She must hop and flutter and maybe even fall before she can take flight.
My cage has collapsed and my heart is open.
My emotions have balanced and I have learned my very own unique operating manual.
I’ve organized, decluttered, released and recreated.
I needed to take control, take roll call and organize my belongings.
I rid myself of what no longer serves me.
If we are not in control of our possessions,
these possessions may possess us.
I am ready now to build my rocket ship.
It’s half way in the works but there’s no telling what it will truly be.
My biggest lesson on the to do list:
a rocket ship can’t fly without its feet first on the ground.
I’ve been healing, healing & healing layers
from childhood trauma and middle school drama
and 2018 and this evenings dinner.
I am in a constant state of rewriting my own story.
The star of the show, the victim, was kicked out of the play for she no longer served my story.
The martyr rewrote her script and saved herself.
The main character changed her entire identity
from the inside out
adding in a magical mystical concoction of self-validation, courage,
grace, compassion & self love over and over and over again.
We squeezed out the shame and guilt and self sabotage
and uncovered the wounds that they so sweetly thought they were protecting -
wiped them off, cleaned them up and gave them a big kiss to heal their exposed sensitivities.
I am cherishing the scars that develop as the pain comes to a rest.
I earned those scars.
I played doctor and surrendered to the truth that is so hard to see.
The journey is a new one.
It’s the story of uncovering my greatest gift, my own unique divinity.
It’s not one you have ever heard you see..
because they are all slightly different.
You may say we are all the same because we are one, yes that is in fact true,
but we are so purposefully diverse and individually unique.
It is intentional of course.
The goal of the game is to hone in on it.
Shine a light on our dark spots and share it with the world
because at the end of it all we are meant to be lit in harmony,
shining our brightest versions, sending out our highest frequencies of our very unique self.
The light is the love.
We are one.
That is the journey of being human.
We are here to remember that we are love.
We are here to learn & love & create & find our way back home.
We are starseeds.
We are pure blissful magic.
We have just gotten a bit covered up with the dust and dirt of this earth.
Fear and control found their way to this planet and it’s time to reclaim our space & our sovereignty.
The way back is through her. Through Mother Earth.
Connect to the ground and release what’s not serving you.
She’ll scoop it up and shed your layers.
She will recycle them into the winds and the weeping willows and create profound beauty of it.
Make yourself light and you will shine the light.
It is already within.
How you see the world is a direct correlation of what’s going on inside of you.
We are constantly co-creating our own reality.
If you want to change the world, change your insides.
There’s no other way out then from within.